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ScrollDamage Issue #004: OnlyFans CEOs, Cult Yogis, and Twitch Tantrums

ScrollDamage Issue #004: OnlyFans CEOs, Cult Yogis, and Twitch Tantrums

OnlyFans CEO buys an AR zoo, a yogi sees Powerball numbers in meditation, and a Twitch streamer rage-quits mid-subathon. Here's what broke the internet this week.

Jack MeHoff
April 30, 2025

Real stories. Real weird. Curated by Jack MeHoff.
👑 Editor-in-Cheese, ScrollDamage

Hey Scroller,

It’s Jack. This week the algorithm gods served up three heaping helpings of viral absurdity: a former adult platform CEO buying a zoo, a yogi who channeled the lottery numbers, and a Twitch streamer rage-quitting live. It’s like Black Mirror wrote a sitcom.

Here are the top viral meltdowns and WTFs that broke the internet this week:

🐅 OnlyFans CEO Buys Stake in an AR-Enhanced Zoo

Amrapali "Ami" Gan, ex-CEO of OnlyFans, just went full Dr. Dolittle investor mode. She backed a startup bringing augmented reality to wildlife conservation via a real Thai zoo. Think: holographic tiger tours and virtual pet playdates.

Jack’s Take:
OnlyFans to OnlyFangs. Next up: $29.99/month to virtually bottle-feed a panda named Greg.

🔮 Yogi Says Meditation Revealed Powerball Numbers, Declines to Play

A viral wellness guru claims she saw the exact Powerball combo in a deep meditative trance. But instead of cashing in on her cosmic download, she skipped the ticket out of "spiritual integrity."

Jack’s Take:
Her higher self just left $600 million on the table. Enlightenment's cool and all, but I'd settle for one matching number and a Hot Pocket.

🎮 Twitch Streamer Rage-Deletes Channel Over Payout Cuts — Comes Back Hours Later

One streamer, mid-subathon marathon, found out Twitch's new payout structure slashes creator revenue by 40%. So she did what any rational adult would: rage-deleted her channel live. Her fans mourned. Until she came back... four hours later.

Jack’s Take:
Rage-deleting your Twitch account is the digital equivalent of flipping a Monopoly board. And coming back to find someone else bought Boardwalk.

🤡 Meme Dump (Unfiltered & Certified Unhinged)

Redditor: "Is it illegal to fight a goose with a katana?"
YouTube: "POV: You astral project into a DMV line."
Pinterest: "My toxic trait is thinking I’d thrive in a cult if the outfits slapped."

🧠 Final Thought

This week on the internet: one spiritual lesson, one meltdown, and one endangered lemur in AR. It’s a weird world. But it’s ours.

See you next scroll,
— Jack MeHoff
Editor-in-Cheese, ScrollDamage