ScrollDamage Issue #002: Con Artists, Creeps & Comebacks

Hey you. Yeah, you—the dopamine-drenched little screen goblin.
You've been doomscrolling. Your thumbs are sore. Your brain's fried.
But lucky for you, we already dove headfirst into the feed-abyss and brought back the good stuff.

Let’s catch you up on what broke the internet this week:

🎭 Thief Caught Returning Stolen Art... Because It Was "Cursed"

In a move straight out of an A24 horror short, a thief broke into a museum, swiped several ancient artifacts—and then quietly returned them a few days later with a note: "Please, I can't sleep. It's cursed."

The internet is eating this up like it's an episode of Goosebumps. Paranormal TikTok has dubbed him the "Guilt Goblin," and users are speculating which artifact doomed his dreams.

Moral of the story? Maybe don't steal haunted stuff.

See the cursed caper ➔

🍼 Influencer's 'Bats**t Insane' Pregnancy Saga Takes a Turn

Cass Taulaki, the Aussie influencer who claimed she got pregnant by a man who didn’t exist, might’ve just leveled up her plot twist.

After a viral post where she casually mentioned eating sushi, fans started speculating: did she secretly have the baby already? If so, where’s the reveal? Where’s the dramatic 3-part TikTok series? We’re waiting.

She’s promised a full breakdown of how she got scammed by a dude who lied about everything — identity, background, the works. Wild.

Keep up with the drama ➔

🎶 Janet Jackson's 2001 Banger Just Went Viral on TikTok

"Someone to Call My Lover" is back, baby. TikTokers are using Janet's 2001 classic for dreamy nostalgia edits, cozy day-in-my-life montages, and other soft-core vibe content.

It just cracked TikTok’s Viral 50 chart — proof that Gen Z has taste and that algorithmic resurrection is very real.

Miss Jackson if you're nasty... or just algorithmically gifted.

Relive the smooth throwback ➔

🎨 AI Turns Your Pics into Studio Ghibli Films... Kinda

The latest AI rabbit hole? "Ghiblification."

Users are uploading real-world photos and getting back dreamlike animations in the iconic Studio Ghibli art style. It’s cute, it’s magical, it’s slightly cursed depending on the prompt.

But, of course, there’s a side of internet drama. Artists are raising eyebrows (and copyright questions) about whether AI should be allowed to mimic signature styles so closely.

Still, the results? Kinda stunning.

See the enchanted edits ➔

🧠 TL;DR Scroll-Damaged Recap:

• A museum thief returned ancient art because it was too cursed to keep.

• Influencer's scam-pregnancy tale just dropped a sushi-flavored plot twist.

• Janet Jackson is trending again and we’re not mad about it.

• AI is turning your pics into whimsical anime daydreams.

That’s your ScrollDamage Weekly Fix, darling.
Share it, screenshot it, or whisper it to your emotionally unavailable crush.
Just remember: don’t become next week’s main character.

See you in the next scroll.